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How to Let Go of the Guilt and Shame


Do you believe you’ve done something that God could never forgive? Maybe you realize He’s forgiven you, but you still struggle with forgiving yourself. 

It took my friend, Jean, about a year to even bring up the subject with me. She had done something years ago that she was still ashamed of. She couldn’t forgive herself or believe that God could forgive her, either.

Jean had made a decision, years earlier, to abort her unborn baby. Although her doctor advised that she terminate her pregnancy because of a history of miscarriages, she never questioned the doctor’s advice. Today, she wishes more than anything that she had. She could barely talk about it with me, let alone forgive herself. 

It’s one thing when pain happens to us. It’s another thing when something we do — or fail to do — results in our pain or someone else’s pain. We tend to put that pain in the category of something that God will never heal us of or forgive us for. In my newest book, When a Woman  Overcomes Life’s Hurts, I offer “Ten Steps to Healing and Wholeness” and one of them is: Believe that Jesus’ death on the cross was enough to heal the very deepest of wounds — even the self-inflicted ones. 

Whatever it is we struggle with, many times we think if we hold onto it  — and continue to grieve over it — we are showing God that we really are sorry for our actions and that might somehow make up for our wrongdoing.  But the whole reason Jesus had to die for us is because we are incapable of appeasing God on our own efforts…or penitence. If you believe God could never forgive you, or if you are struggling to forgive yourself for something in your past, these steps toward healing and wholeness are for you:   

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