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Mother’s Day for Those with Unloving Mothers


Each Mother’s Day, I wrestle with conflicting emotions. As a father and husband, I love to celebrate the gift God gave me in my wife and children and the special moments we spend together.The cards we write sweet messages in. Hand-made gifts. Family dinners filled with laughter as we reflect upon previous years.

But as a son who has lived most of his life disconnected from his mom, this annual tradition feels confusing and hard.I’ve spent hours standing in the greeting card aisle, searching for that perfect card. One that feels honest, authentic, and honoring.

To avoid inflicting pain, I felt I had to send something. But all those nostalgic poems commemorating memories and heart-felt impact didn’t feel true. And so, I’d select something funny and light, add a blessing for a special, sun-filled day, and send it off, grieving the relationship I’ve never had and likely never would.

Working with women across the globe, listening to their struggles, stories, and hurts, I’ve come to realize I’m not alone. Many people are hurting deeply and feeling conflicted regarding how to respond in love, grace, and truth. This can be even more confusing for those connected with a faith community where reconciliation, restoration, and sacrificial love is emphasized. But love doesn’t mean ignoring or accepting sin, poor behavior, and dysfunction. Love and truth must always coexist. The challenge, then, is finding where love and truth intersect and how to experience personal healing in the process.

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